I punched the numbers into the calculator. Awesome. The total showed I would make more money that year than I ever had. It was summertime in 2018. My annual bonus was more significant than usual. I was pleased with the situation and relieved that money would not be tight. Work was going well. I was finally reaping the rewards after many years of toil. I felt proud and a little scared at the same time. My ego was growing.
Success can go to your head.
Like many people, I work hard. I like my profession and enjoy a reasonable amount of success. I used to think that my success resulted mainly from my own efforts. The harder I worked, the more success I experienced. Over time, my ego became a problem. The reality is that my success depends mainly on the hard work and decisions of others. Rewards can go to your head if you are not careful.
Why I wrote this billboard
A few years ago, I read Ryan Holiday’s book Ego is the Enemy, one of the best I’ve read in the past decade. In it, Ryan describes various ways that your ego can be a problem and provides pertinent examples throughout. I reread the book in 2018 as a reminder that my ego is the enemy. I wrote this billboard as a reminder that I needed to proceed cautiously. My inner citadel is more important than monetary rewards. My ego is the enemy.
This book is not light reading.
The book is divided into three sections: aspire, success, and failure. Each section contains multiple chapters full of important lessons—too many to share here. Instead, I will highlight three points Ryan makes in the book’s first section to whet your appetite. Hopefully, you will be inspired to read all of it. It is worth the investment.
One might say that the ability to evaluate one’s own ability is the most important skill of all. Without it, improvement is impossible. And certainly, ego makes it difficult every step of the way.
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
Be your own best critic.
It is difficult to see your flaws. We look in the mirror and see what we want to see. The older you get, the harder it is to recognize your flaws. You may miss the things that are keeping you from being your best. I know this point is valid because I always fall into this trap. Many of us do. Try to avoid this mistake. My ego is the enemy.
It’s a temptation that exists for everyone – for talk and hype to replace action.
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
We believe our own stories, and our ego grows.
Years ago, I signed up for a marathon. I told my friends all about it. I finished my inaugural race with a respectable time but had not trained properly. My second marathon was going to be better. I would train differently and finish faster. I explained my new approach to any of my friends who were willing to listen. In my head, it was better because that is what I told myself and others. I started to believe my own story.
Less talking, more running
The reality is that I did not train differently. I skipped many of the long runs. Guess what happened—I finished at almost exactly the same time as before. I blamed the weather, which was a lame excuse. I should have done less talking and more running. It was a classic mistake. Nowadays, I am better at avoiding this pitfall. I try to talk less and do more. You should do the same. The ego is the enemy.
A true student is like a sponge. Absorbing what goes on around him, filtering it, latching on to what he can hold. A student is self-critical and self-motivated always trying to improve his understanding so that he can move on to the next topic, the next challenge
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
Never stop learning to keep your ego in check.
It is easy at my age to think that I know it all. The older I get, the more I realize how little I know. The funny thing is that I thought I knew all I needed to know when I was your age. Don’t be like I was. Instead, be a student and keep gaining more wisdom. You will be amazed at how quickly you can acquire knowledge nowadays. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you know it all. Never stop learning. My ego is the enemy.
How I incorporated this billboard into my life
Rereading Ego is the Enemy made me rethink parts of my life. Was I being honest with myself? Perhaps I was talking too much and not doing enough. Was I learning new things that would help me grow? The answer to all three questions was no. I decided to address all three issues over the coming years. The last thing I want is for my ego to become my enemy.
What about you? How are you dealing with your ego?
Are you friends with it, or is it your enemy? If you have not read this book, I recommend that you do. I am planning to read it again this year, another measure to hold myself accountable and keep my ego in check.
You are not quite as good as you think you are, but you are better than others realize
Dad