BB2ME #33 – Why do I linger in the comfort zone?

24 Feb
2020

I checked the temperature outside. It was cold. Damn cold and windy. The kind of weather I avoid now that I am old (over 50 years old). It would not get above 20 degrees all day. I wondered if our trip to Blacksburg, Virginia, was a big mistake. What in the world were we doing there? I let Riley know that it was going to be a tough day. He didn’t mind. He was committed and ready to roll. After all, Riley reminded me. We did not want to give up because it was cold. He was right, and I knew it. I’m unsure why I was reluctant to leave my comfort zone.

Riley getting ready for one of the many games he played over the years.
Riley played soccer for many years – he loves the game.

Riley wanted to pursue his dream of playing college soccer.

It was January 2019. We were in Blacksburg for a college soccer scouting camp. Riley spent the day playing soccer in the cold to demonstrate his growing talents to college soccer coaches. A few months earlier, Riley told me he wanted to pursue his dream of playing college soccer. I was supportive of the idea but somewhat reluctant to get outside my comfort zone to help my younger son achieve his dream. Looking back now, I realize my hesitation was stupid.

Why I wrote this billboard

I wrote this billboard as a reminder that I must get out of my comfort zone for my sons. They deserve nothing less. I love my sons but can be selfish and put my needs and desires before theirs. I do not claim to be a great father. At best, I am an average dad. For example – given a choice, I will stay in my comfort zone and not go the extra mile for my sons. It is not something I am proud to share, but it is the truth.

We were visiting Ferrum College for a showcase event.

My comfort zone is a warm and cozy couch.

I tend to be lazy on weekends. I work hard during the week and enjoy relaxing when I am not in the office. My comfort zone is a warm and cozy couch, where I watch sports on Saturday and Sunday mornings. My favorite sport to watch is the professional European soccer leagues. I can sit there for hours, drinking coffee and watching the best players in the world battle on the pitch. Sure, I do plenty of other things each weekend, but road-tripping to Blacksburg, Virginia, is never on my agenda. This weekend, it was.

The couch I sit on to watch professional soccer.

Blacksburg is enemy territory – just joking.

The second half of this billboard is a joke. I went to school in Charlottesville, Virginia. I am a proud graduate of the University of Virginia. We Cavaliers consider Blacksburg, Virginia (home of the Hokies) enemy territory. I don’t like going there. It’s mainly because Blacksburg is full of Hokies, but I say that in jest. Virginia Tech is an excellent school, and I have many friends who are Hokies. But Blacksburg is over four hours away from my home down Route 81. It was a miserable drive, but this trip was worth it.

I am going behind enemy lines to support my son. Wahoowa!!

Riley went outside his comfort zone when attending showcase events.

Riley attended several college soccer showcase events that fall/winter. We went to one in Richmond, another in Ferrum, this in Blacksburg, and the final in Raleigh. Each trip was an adventure that required Riley to get outside his comfort zone. He played with different players each time in front of coaches he met for the first time during the event. Riley’s persistence paid off. He continued playing better and better and made good progress towards achieving his dream. All I did was drive the car and watch from the sidelines.

My sideline view of Riley playing soccer last year.
My sideline view of Riley playing soccer for years.

Leaving your comfort zone is a good thing.

I must admit that attending all these events was not my idea of a good time. Leaving my comfort zone is never fun. Sitting on my couch during the weekend is much easier, wasting time. But Riley needed my help and support. I decided to do all I could, although cold days like the one in Blacksburg made me wonder. The reality is that I should have been more willing to step outside my comfort zone for Riley. That is where all growth happens.

Gritty people train at the edge of their comfort zone. They zero in on one narrow aspect of their performance and set a stretch goal to improve it.

Angela Duckworth

This trip outside the comfort zone paid off.

Despite the severe weather, Riley played well in Blacksburg. Several coaches asked him to attend other events so that they could evaluate his talent further. Riley performed well enough to be offered a scholarship to play soccer at Ferrum College. He became the first Keating ever to play college soccer. What an outstanding achievement! I am a super proud dad! It would never have happened if Riley had been unwilling to go outside his comfort zone. All I had to do was get outside by getting off the couch to help. Glad I made the right decision.

Riley and I after one of his college soccer games. It’s a proud dad moment.

What about you?

Do you linger in your comfort zone? Or are you willing to get off the couch and give it a go? Riley did and is now playing college soccer. I sometimes wonder how many things I missed out on earlier in my life because I was unwilling to leave my comfort zone. Please don’t make the same mistake as me, and get out there.

Get out of your comfort zone for your kids. Be willing to go behind enemy lines, and take no prisoners.

Dad

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *