Today, I will share Billboard to Me (BB2ME) number 44: Keep cool when life gives you a bad card.
Life is like playing cards.
Let me start by describing one of the mental models I use when thinking about life. To me, life is a lot like playing cards. To be successful, you need to have a winning hand. The good news for all of us is that you’re not stuck with the same cards for your entire life. Cards come and go. In this billboard, I will discuss how to deal with a bad card.
You are the player in life, not the card dealer.
Here is some not-so-good news regarding life being like cards. We all face the reality that you are the player, not the card dealer. You can’t pick your cards. You can choose which ones to keep and which ones to discard. However, you’re the player, not the dealer.
Sometimes, you receive good cards.
Here is more good news. For many people, sometimes life deals you good cards. I know I was dealt three cards that have helped me win in many situations.
- My parents are both good people. They have been married for over 50 years and invested heavily in ensuring my brother and I could succeed.
- I was born in America. There is no better country to set you up for success than the USA.
- I’m not stupid. Now, some of you will probably debate that statement. However, I tend to test pretty well, which helped me get into a good school and set me up statistically for success in the long run.
On other days, you get bad cards.
On other days, you get bad cards. This is particularly challenging because you’re not the dealer, so you do not know when you will receive the bad cards. Whether it’s death, divorce, disease, or some other challenge in life, expect to receive bad cards at some point.
No one gets a perfect hand.
We all face the harsh reality that no one gets a perfect hand like the royal flush pictured below. I cannot think of anyone I know who’s winning in all areas of their life. We all have challenges and have to deal with bad cards. If anyone tells you they’re killing it in all facets of life and don’t have any bad cards, they’re lying. I don’t think that’s possible at all. Look at the wealthiest guy on the planet right now, Elon Musk. Does he have good cards? Yes. However, he has to deal with life just like the rest of us. I read recently one of his children hates him so much that they don’t even want to share the same last name. That’s got to hurt.
BB2ME #44 – Keep a cool head when dealt a bad card.
This BB2ME was inspired by my boss’s annual salary discussions several years ago. During that discussion, I learned that despite performing well, I was not getting a raise that year.
Why I wrote this BB2ME
It is easy to act like a child, yelling and pounding the table when you’re dealt a bad card. In this situation, I didn’t expect to receive good news during salary discussions my business unit had performed well. However, my company was struggling, and the market conditions were harsh. I didn’t think anybody would get a significant pay raise. My executive coach asked me what I thought the worst-case scenario was. I said no raise at all. She recommended I prepare to hear that news.
She was right. When my boss told me I was not getting a raise, I didn’t pound the table or raise my voice. I said, “That’s disappointing news, especially since my business unit achieved all the goals and outcomes we were asked to deliver.” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that other than, “That may be true, but you’re still not getting a raise. ”
How I incorporated this billboard into my life
That event happened several years ago. Since then, I feel like I’ve gotten better at keeping cool when I’m dealt a bad card, and there have been plenty since that incident.
What about you?
How do you handle yourself well when dealt a bad card? Do you turn into a child yelling, pounding the table, and getting all worked up? Do you let everybody know you’ve been wronged, and they will hear about it? If that’s you, I think you have work to do. Calibrate yourself and learn to manage your emotions. You’ll see better outcomes on the other side of bad cards. We all have to deal with bad cards. I’m at the point where I avoid getting worked up as much as possible. I’d much rather keep my cool, get rid of the card, and move on to the next hand.
I am Doug Keating, and this is my letter to my sons.