I sat staring at the spreadsheet on my computer. It displayed my monthly budget, and the numbers were not adding up. More money was going out than coming in, which was a problem. It was February 2018. My budget was going to be tight again that month. The first few months of the year were usually tough, but I hoped that last year would be different for some stupid reason. It wasn’t, and I had to deal with it. Thoughts of revenge started to creep into my mind.
How in the world did I get here?
I wondered to myself why money was tight. Of course, there were several legitimate reasons. First, I spent more money than planned over the holidays. Most of us do. Second, I paid Gavin’s tuition in January. Third, I bought Riley a used car a few months earlier as a Christmas gift. He needed it. Lastly, I spent a fair amount of money on my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. She deserved it. But those decisions put more strain on my budget than usual. I started to feel a little bit sorry for myself.
Why I wrote this billboard
Money has been tight for years. Not because I don’t have a good-paying job. I do. I am blessed with financial abundance compared to many. The reason I don’t have a lot of extra money is because of the alimony and child support I pay as part of the divorce from your mother. Whenever the financial reality of the divorce hits me between the eyes, I start thinking about revenge. How can I get revenge on your mother? Dark thoughts come to mind, which is not good and does not help anyone, especially you boys.
Revenge can be a double-edged sword.
The older I get, the more I realize that seeking revenge can be dangerous. While exacting revenge on someone who wronged you may feel good, it can also backfire. I know because I sought revenge several times in my life when I was younger. It did feel good at the time. But revenge can also backfire. I learned this lesson the hard way. In fact, multiple times in my life, I caused more harm than good when seeking vengeance. It was the wrong approach.
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you.
Proverbs 20:22
Don’t waste your time with revenge.
Nowadays, I don’t waste my time looking for revenge against those who I feel wronged me. First off, who am I to make that determination? I may be the one in the wrong and deserve judgment. Second, the potential time and effort expended are not worth it. I would rather spend my time living an excellent life full of passion. Third, seeking revenge can make you a bitter person. I don’t want to become bitter. No one wants to be around a Grinch.
How I incorporated this billboard into my life
Several years ago, I identified my passions. They are listed below. As both of you know, I enjoy watching sports, listening to music, drinking craft beer, traveling to Europe, sampling savory coffees, and smoking good cigars with friends. I update the list every year and factor them into my plans. For example, I took a memorable trip to Dublin to see U2 in concert last year. It was a bucket list item for me. Lifelong memories and money well spent.
What about you?
Are you plotting the demise of those who have wronged you? Are you seeking revenge on others? Don’t do it. I challenge you to live your life well. The other inspiration for this billboard is the Switchfoot song of the same name. Sometimes, when thinking about revenge, I listen to this song. It helps get me back to a healthy place.
The best revenge is a life well lived.
Dad