How to finish what you start despite obstacles

28 Jul

2018

My father enforced three specific standards when I was a young man. They are simple to understand. I am sharing these standards with you because I plan to enforce them as well.

1. Get a job during the summer.
2. Finish college…in four years.
3. Live on your own after college.

Last week I wrote about why it is important that a man works for a living. This week I will cover standard #2 in detail. The timing is good since college is on both of your radars.

Getting into the University of Virginia was a gift

I was a good high school student. I performed well academically, played varsity sports, and participated in extracurricular activities. Encouraged by my mom, I applied to several top-tier colleges across the country to include Stanford, Duke, and UC-Berkley. None of these schools accepted me. In fact, I received more college rejection letters than acceptance letters. One school that decided to take a chance on me was the University of Virginia. I have to admit that I was not really that excited about going to school in Charlottesville. It was too close to home. I wanted to see the world and stretch my wings. I was rather naive. Little did I know that UVA was a great school, and I should consider myself lucky to get in. One of my high school teachers set me straight. She said it would much more challenging than I realized. She was right.

The Army was willing to pay my college bills

The other advantage I had going to college was that the Army offered me a scholarship. It would pay most of my college bills. I gladly accepted the scholarship. My dad was particularly pleased for two reasons. First, he could buy a house and move closer to work since his days of paying tuition bills were over. Second, he liked the idea of me following in his footsteps as an Army Officer. I was rather rambunctious as a teenager, so some were surprised when I decided to join the Army Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC). A good friend of mine was in ROTC at another school. He said it would be a big adjustment for me. He was right.

I lost my focus the first two years in college

My first two years at UVA were a lot of fun. I made many new friends, joined a fraternity, and attended UVA sporting events. I partied several nights a week which was somewhat the norm. Army ROTC went better than expected. We did exciting activities like running, shooting, and rappeling. I enjoyed the training and did not mind wearing the uniform, or getting my hair cut short. Academics were another matter. I did not perform well. I got lazy which was not smart. I was an engineering student which is not easy. Lots of science and math. Those classes were pretty easy for me in high school. Not so at UVA. My grades proved it. After two years in the engineering school, my GPA hovered around 2.5. I failed a class and dropped a few more due to poor performance. I was struggling and needed to make a big change.

I put my scholarship in jeopardy by switching majors

I decided to switch my college major from engineering to economics. I chose economics because it was one of the few classes I earned a decent grade. Normally changing majors in college is not a big deal. Many students do. This change was a big decision for two reasons. First, I had already completed two years of engineering and would have to make up a lot of classes. Second, the Army might not continue my scholarship. They want engineers more than economics majors. I had to request approval to change my major, or walk away from the scholarship. My future was uncertain.

Opa was supportive but firm with his guidance

I spoke to my dad about this decision to get his guidance. More importantly, I needed his approval. Opa was generally supportive of the change. He knew I was not doing well and that continuing down the same path would be a big mistake. He said I could implement this change with two requirements. First, the Army needed to approve the change. If I lost the scholarship he was not going to pay for college. Second, I had to finish college in four years. I complained that it would be difficult, but agreed to his requirements. He helped me submit the paperwork required to modify my ROTC scholarship. It was approved with one stipulation…I had to finish in four years. The Army was not going to pay for an extra semester or two. Deal.

I regained my focus by making adjustments

In order to finish college in four years, I needed to catch up quickly on many mandatory classes. That meant summer school the next two years. The good news was that a few of my roommates who played football were also going to summer school. The first summer I took a full course load. I buckled down, focused, and performed much better. My grades that summer improved immensely. My overall GPA started to rise. I wanted to finish college with at least a 3.0 GPA. I was finally on the right path and making progress. It was a lot of hard work, but we managed to have a little fun that summer as well. The next summer I completed the advanced ROTC camp and returned to UVA for more classes. Once again, I focused and did well. My last year at UVA also went well. I completed my economics degree, earned several Army ROTC awards, and received a regular Army Officer commission. Having my mom and dad pin golden bars on my uniform at my commissioning ceremony was a proud moment for me.

You need to finish what you start

Why am I telling you this story? Because it is important that you finish what you start despite obstacles. You will notice that my dad and I did not discuss the idea of me quitting school. It was not even an option. No. Opa insisted that I finish college…in four years. He was tough on me and it worked. I plan on holding you to the same standard. Gavin – you are in college right now. We have discussed this topic many times, so you know my requirement that you finish college in four years. Riley – you will start college next year. Same deal. You will get your degree in four years. It is the Keating way.

Not finishing what you start is a problem for many men

Quitting is becoming more of a problem for men these days. Data from the most recent Boston marathon help illustrate the point. The weather for this year’s race was miserable. It poured rain. As this opinion article points out a lot more men than women quit the race.

Finishing rates varied significantly by gender. For men, the dropout rate was up almost 80 percent from 2017; for women, it was up only about 12 percent. Overall, 5 percent of men dropped out, versus just 3.8 percent of women. The trend was true at the elite level, too.

The author provides several explanations for why fewer women quit than men. To me the answer is simple – we are not holding men to a high enough standard when it comes to finishing what they start. I know because I am a man and struggle in this area. My list of uncompleted projects is long. The truth is that in many cases it is easier to quit than keep going. It takes discipline to finish the race.

It may be ugly getting to the finish line

I am proud to say that I have finished every running race that I started. Most have been ugly, but I manage to reach the finish line. Several years ago I ran the Washington DC half-marathon. The weather was really cold that morning. I ran a good pace the first ten miles but did not hydrate enough. As a result, my right calf seized badly with more than two miles to go. It was painful. I tried walking it off, but that did not work. I seriously consider quitting but decided to keep going. The last few miles were ugly. I slowed down, limped along, and stopped several times to stretch before finally reaching the end. I did not achieve my goal time, but I managed to finish.

You get to the finish line by putting one foot in front of the other

What kept me going the last few miles of that race? Three thoughts. First, I did not want to return home and have to tell your mother and you boys that I did not finish. Second, I recalled what my dad taught me about finishing what you start despite all obstacles. Last, I remembered that I am an Army Ranger and quitting is not an option. I was trained to keep going no matter what. Just put one foot in front of the other. I recommend you do the same. Stick with it, even when things get tough. You can do it, and I am here to help you.

Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor. Sixth stanza of the US Army Ranger creed.