I stood in front of my father crying. I was upset. It was not a pretty scene. I lost a swimming race that I should have won. I was embarrassed. My poor dad had suffered through a long swimming meet to watch me bomb a race badly. I finished dead ass last. I was ten years old, a hot mess, and needed help. The bear got me that day.
My dad did not get emotional.
My father did not get upset. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “Some days you get the bear; other days the bear gets you.” It was the first time I heard this saying. I did not know at all what it meant, but I was somehow comforted and stopped crying. I thought he might yell at me for swimming so slowly. He never did. Never.
Why I wrote this billboard
During my youth, my dad sat through hundreds of swim meets and soccer games. Both my brother and I played these sports for over a decade. Opa coached Perry and my soccer teams for years. He was a great coach. We won a lot of games. My dad had many sayings he used to teach his teams about life. This billboard saying is one that I remember. It helped me many times over the years.
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Psalm 103:13
Some days, you win, aka you get the bear.
I was a decent competitive swimmer—nothing special. That means I won more races than I lost. In contrast, your Uncle Perry won most of his races. He was a great swimmer—much better than me. There was one summer when I swam well the entire summer. I won almost every single race. I got the bear a lot that summer, which was tons of fun. You will likely win many days. Many people do.
On other days, you lose aka the bear gets you.
We all face the reality that sometimes we lose. I remember another summer when I experienced a painful loss. I was undefeated going into my final race. All I had to do was win the last one, my strongest event. I lost that race by a hair. The bear got me that day, and it hurt. My brother was undefeated that year, which made my loss sting even more.
Make sure you can handle losing
Everyone loses at some point. No one wins all the time. It is okay to get mad when you lose. That is natural. I do not know anyone who likes losing. Just ensure you don’t let a loss ruin the rest of your day. I know some people who become miserable to be around for a long time after they lose. They sulk and let the loss seep into their soul, which is never good. Get over it and get moving again.
We are the champions, my friends
We are the Champions by rock band Queen
And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
‘Cause we are the champions of the world
You have to deal with both most days.
The older I get, the more I realize that most days, you have to deal with both winning and losing. Some things go well for me on a typical day, and others do not. I rarely have an incredible day or a terrible day. It is usually a mixture of good, bad, and occasionally ugly. Some days are like riding a roller coaster – many ups and downs.
How I incorporated this billboard into my life
My dad’s advice helped me get through many tests and trials. I remember facing failure during the US Army Ranger School. Students must pass certain skill tests, including land navigation, to progress. I was usually decent at navigating through the woods. For whatever reason, I performed poorly on the day we tested. I ended up losing more than once and failing horribly. The bear ate me for lunch that day.
Facing the bear the next day
We were able to take a re-test the next day. If I failed, that would be it for me. I would be recycled, which would be hugely embarrassing. My father is a highly decorated US Army Ranger, having done multiple combat tours in Vietnam. I could not imagine facing him if I failed. I did not panic. Instead, I remembered my father’s advice and decided I would get the bear that day. I did. I passed the land navigation test and graduated from Ranger School a few months later.
Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor.
Six stanza of the US Army Ranger Creed
What about you? Can you deal with the bear?
Do you know how to handle both winning and losing? Are you able to pick yourself up after a loss? Or does losing affect you more than it should? I hope not. If it does, remember Opa’s saying. It will help. I also hope you learn to be resilient. Life is tough, and you must know how to rally yourself when necessary. It will help you win when it matters most and in the long run.
Some days you get the bear, other days the bear gets you.
Richard Keating, my dad